Passion & Ability~~

Have you guys ever come to a point where you feel stuck in what you are doing..then you started to second guess your choice whether it is the correct one, feeling like you've been walking down a road that wasn't meant for you..you were just happened to found yourself in the middle of somewhere and once you realize where you are, you think there is just no turning back..you just gonna have to tread the path that you don't even sure why you chose it at the first place..

I've been thinking a lot about a question that sounds really familiar to a medical student..a question that frequently asked and a question that brought me here today..the question that i'll never get to answer myself...i've tried so hard to find the answer but i just don't find a concrete one to justify why am i doing this..a question sounds as "Why do i want to be a doctor?"..

I just don't know why am i in medical school..do i really want to be a doctor..i would say not really..back then i was clueless of what i want to be in life...so i decided just to let the fate decide it for me or should i say my parents choice..then i started to dig inside me..bringing up my interest into surface..and finally i did..but sadly to say..it was not really something that suit me in term of my ability..i don't have what it takes to go through the path what am i passionate for..its just a dream in the air..you'll never got to touch it neither see it and the only thing you can do is to feel it..

i believe we need one thing called passion in what we are doing so that it can just push you through the hard times and you'll cherish the success more cause you feel it's worth it..i just couldn't imagine what am i supposed to do just in case i failed the exam..i'll be knocked off my feet hard that i couldn't get up anymore..and at that time, something you would call passion just came into picture just perfect to push you through the failure..but what happened if i don't have the one thing called passion..will i able to get on my feet again after being defeated by my own self?

i just happened to be trapped in my own self...i've passioned for something that is not for me..and 1 thing for sure, my ability in doing medicine surpass my passion in being a doctor..

i think i just need to start to search a place where i can put my passion and my ability just in the same box..and closed it tight unwilling to let it go..

p/s: the tension of study really make me things hard now..hahaha...dan ini adalah kerenah biasa bebudak nak exam i guess..hahaha