Shedot Super Sunday : Saya Yang Depress

Assalamualaikum wbt..

Long time no see everybody here..haha..this last few days i'm feeling so much better and think i can be writting up something again..huhuhu..

I was having depression since last month..when i mean depression, i really mean it..haha..like i was very depress and sad..

I think it was the first time in life i ever behave like that kot..cam mana laa penah nk depress2 sebelum nih kan..it's just that, my fun-lovely-carefree life of glass has crashed into pieces..terkpasa menghadapi realiti yg sgt perit dan pedih utk diterima..yer laa..i was living my life with hapiness and joy..mmg x perlu pikir paper pun selama 21 tahun dah hidup nih..mmg enjoy abiss laa kan dengan kehidupan yg penuh ceria dan riang ria dari zaman kanak2 sehingga remaja..sudden2 u realized sumthing is very wrong with u and ur life..and u just don't know how to deal with it..and ur mind just keep on thinking all about the sad things..it was very difficult to deal with..so sepanjang Ramadhan mmg kesedihan, ketensionan, kemoodyan jer kejer..

x pernah ku duga hidupku akan sampai ke satu titik, where i feel like locking up myself in my room for the whole day and x nak jumpa org langsung..all that i did was staring blanklessly into sumthing and tears started to welling up as i was thinking about lots of thing..when i was tired of termenung dan bersedihan i just fell into sleep..whenever i feel really bad, i just think sleeping was the best medicine.. i don't laugh, i don't really talk much, i dont sing in room or in the toilet anymore, i dont read any book at all, i dont do all things that i love to do before..i wake up every morning, thinking i must really live my life today, then bila sampai ptg jer mmg kesedihan teramat dan i just sleep..and bgn bukak puasa dgn muka masamnya..haha..mmg setiap masa dok pikir nk balik umah jer..cam nk lari dari sini and balik Mesia..hidup dengan aman nyer..haha..

sian laa kt housemate2 aku yg terpaksa mengadap muka stress dan moody aku yg seperti hendak penyepak nih kan..sian derang..even i know, hak seorang muslim terhadap muslim itu adalah sekurang2nya utk mendapat sebuah senyuman, tp still i just cud'nt do that because i was very sad and doomed..so aku tunjuk muka masam jerr kt derang..sian derang..sorry yer korang..and at one moment i just ran away to Killarney for the weekend to take a break and just to think..best gila pergi Killarney..cam very peaceful and i liked it a lot...

i believe time is the best medicine..and it's true..now things are better and i can live my life better..not having to stare at the same sad eyes everytime u look into the mirror..Alhamdulillah..but i don't know when the break down is gonna happen again..hohoho..hopefully when it happens i can have a quick recovery and better prognosis is expected..hehehe..

The other day, i was telling Bazlina Matadusuki, i'm living a very sad life now..to survive for an hour is so hard nowadays and i think i was losing all the will to live..and so he said " The saddest man in the world is Rasulullah. You shoud be happy cause you are not the saddest man. Rasulullah has set a very high standard for you to follow"..so i thought it's very true..Indeed Rasulullah is the saddest man in the world after what he went through but he still stood firm in Iman..whenever u feel sad just think La Tahzan Innallaha Maana ( Don't be sad, Verily Allah is with you) and think of how sad but very strong Rasulullah is, surely u feel better..





And just few weeks ago i listen to my favourite Good Charlotte's song, Hold On..the lyrics goes like this..

"We all bleed the same way as you do, and we all have the same thing to go through"..

listening to that really i believe that others situation is much worse than me but they keep on living strongly and spiritfully..so i shouldn't be sad and just lying on the bad crying all day..hahaha..



and really i believe there's so many people who struggles so much in life but they never give up..and i just listen to Siti Muslihah' song Hujan Air Mata..sedih gilaa membayangkan org2 lain yg lebih sukar hidupnya..Ujian yg Allah berikan kepada mereka lagi berat..There's a hadith from Rasulullah berbunyi..

"Sekiranya Allah menginginkan kebaikan untuk seseorang itu, Allah akan mengujinya dengan kesusahan"..

Semoga aku tergolong dalam golongan yang diingankan kebaikan untukku oleh Allah


dgr tau lagu nih..sedih sgt...

Hopefully, i will have a better life a head of me..everything happens for a reason..Firman Allah

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui".(Al Baqarah : 216)

Saya ingin hidup gembira dan ceria seperti sebelumnya..hidup saya mmg ceria dan bahagia..pleasee jgn laa sedih2..hehe..


p/s : x sangka shedot ada fan..wow...terasa macam artis plak..haha..